Anxiety leads to destructive behavior that can tear down even a once healthy relationship. It leads to thoughts and actions that betray one’s true feelings, hurting oneself and others in the process. By allowing it to strengthen and take hold, the relationship will begin to weaken. Though couples do try to “tough it out” in such a time, there is only so much to “tough out” before it ruins a relationship for good.
The only way for the relationship to survive is to deal with the problem head-on. Unless there is a complete, dedicated approach to managing it, there is no chance for the couple. No one can survive and have a healthy relationship when this type of behavior is in the middle of it. It never works, regardless of the love between the couple. Anxiety creates behavior and thoughts that cause the attachment to erode. No one can remain in a healthy, happy relationship because of it.
Knowing why it is so damaging, finding a solution, and working towards overcoming these mental health issues is the only way out of this. It is the only way to have a good relationship. Those with severe anxiety may even go down the path of abuse or self-harm if nothing changes. Start now by taking control and making sure it does not have any power.
When anxiety is at play, harmful and damaging thoughts emerge. These create distrust; they question everything said and done, and they cause an overreaction in everything. It makes the brain overthink, overanalyze, and jump to conclusions. Creates scenarios that do not exist. Makes the mind doubt everything and inserts conclusions, many of which are the worst possible outcome.
Anxiety can cause the mind to go overboard with the way that it thinks. Thoughts may include:
• Questioning why the significant other is hanging out with someone
• Assuming the significant other no longer feels love in the relationship
• Seeing friends, work colleagues, and anyone else as someone the significant other is with
Anxiety can go deeper than this. It digs into the mind and creates scenarios and feelings for other people, and makes them real. For someone with this disorder, everything they think is a reality until proven otherwise. It is the guilty-until-proven-innocent mindset, and it is dangerous.
Those who have this mindset immediately call everything their significant other does into question, putting pressure on them and making them out to be a villain, someone who has done wrong. Even when they are entirely innocent, anxiety can take over. That voice of fear and distrust is far more potent than any that’s reasonable.
Thoughts are thoughts; it is what the person with anxiety does that makes anxiety dangerous. Destructive behavior includes:
• Looking through personal accounts and phones
• Following or stalking
• Abusive language
• Restricting access to information and people
The list can go on and on and on. It leads to destructive behavior that no one should tolerate. While it can start out somewhat tame, like asking questions or doubting the significant other, it can spiral quickly. A disorder does not lessen or go away, and it will not be ignored.
A person with a disorder is going to continue thinking and feeling the way they do. They are going to keep doubting, feeling insecure, as though their significant other has done something wrong. Even when there is no evidence, and the person is guiltless, that voice continues to speak. For people with anxiety, their thoughts are all the proof they need. It goes back to the person being guilty until proven innocent, and it is nearly impossible to prove a negative.
A disorder like this is not cute or harmless. It is not someone being a little worried. Most often, people who have anxiety in a relationship turn to abusive behavior and language. They constantly call, text, or go to their significant other as a way to check up on them. If they do not receive a response, or if the response is negative, things may escalate. This destructive behavior can turn into abuse, through various means.
Financial, emotional, and physical abuse are all too familiar to people who experience anxiety in their relationship. Due to their thoughts about their significant other, they want to control the situation. For them, managing the situation will make them feel better. They can know nothing will happen because they have power over it. For the significant other, though, this can cause harm.
Of course, not all forms of anxiety come out in ways that hurt someone else. For many, it can cause self-doubt. It can cause a person to harm themselves, and it can lead to feelings of depression, which can lead to pain and stress in a relationship.
Even when the anxiety is minor, it can lead to arguments, a lack of trust, and other behavior that hurts the significant other. All of this comes from a place of insecurity and fear, with no facts or evidence backing anything up. The only way to stop all of this from happening is to learn how to overcome the disorder itself.
Finding the Solution
Overcoming anxiety is a complicated process that a person cannot complete in one clean step. For most, it takes years of constant practice and effort; they must learn to understand their thoughts and accept everything around them.
To build toward a happier life, some steps to take are:
• Understand their fears and sense of self
• Accept themselves and realize they need to work on their behavior
• Begin curbing their behavior
• Find ways to manage the anxiety when it comes up
Most importantly, someone with anxiety needs to talk, whether to their significant other or a professional. The more open a person can be, the less their relationships are affected by stress. By taking steps to talk honestly, and by fighting the disorder productively and healthily, a fulfilling relationship can blossom. The doom and gloom created by this emotional weight will instead become a stronger bond.
Any person with anxiety needs to start taking steps to combat it now. Regardless of the severity or the manner in which it shows itself, it is a problem. By being active in managing it, it is possible to be happier in a relationship.